1、和朋友去吃饭，遇到个奇葩服务员。点了一道柴鸡炖蘑菇，朋友问了一句：你这是正经柴鸡吗？
服务员说：柴鸡确实是柴鸡，正经不正经我真不知道。2、一哥们儿向对面的妹子炫耀自己戴的金光闪闪的手表说：好表就是好，前几天慢了二十多分钟，五天不到撵上来了！
我在旁边憋到内伤！哈哈！3、公司一阿姨特别开朗，做事说话都大大咧咧的。
她家人不知在哪儿听说的戴手镯可以静心，就买了两个镯子让她一手戴一个，结果阿姨第二天上班，看到一只蚊子在飞，两手一合，啪！两个手镯全碰碎了！4、A：你怎么这么开心？
B：刚才一个朋友对我说，他上个月借了4000元给一个要去做整容手术的哥们儿，现在不知道他整成什么模样，没法叫他还钱。
A：那你乐什么？
B：我就是那个哥们儿。5、今天一个顾客指着刚端上来的菜和菜单图片对比说：你们欺骗消费者呀，差别那么大。
经理淡定的说：菜单上是它拍结婚照时候的样子，能不看好嘛！
顾客。。。
---------憋你到内伤,只要我高兴！
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