1、我问：“魔镜啊魔镜，哪块才是这个世界上最易碎的玻璃？”
魔镜说：“晕！你最美！你最美行了吧。。。”2、有些人接电话喜欢来回走着接，有些人接电话喜欢找个角落靠着接，而我就厉害了，没人给我打电话。3、“你是不是喜欢我？”
“得了吧，也不照照镜子，瞧你长的那样儿，我配得上么？”4、羽绒服的正确穿法：感觉自己胖的时候穿。5、要没点自我安慰的本事，还真活不到现在！6、以前在外面吃饭，端上来的菜里有头发我就特别生气。而现在。。。我有种同病相怜的感觉。7、人如何能够变年轻？我的答案是借给别人钱。因为借给别人钱的过程就是自己慢慢变成孙子的过程。8、新的的一年，新的开始，我准备。。。接着2017年的日子继续混。9、2018年马上要到了，我希望你们都能拥有爱情。
而我——有用金钱
---------爆笑之逗B剧场第161季
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11月26日[二]00:56