1、我都不敢请假，我怕一请假，领导发现公司有我没我都一样。。。2、发呆这事儿，做得好叫深沉；做得不好，就会睡着。3、我跟朋友说我不是早晨8、9点钟的太阳，我是凌晨3、4点的月亮。朋友吐槽我说，就你这个身材，你应该是八月十五的月亮...4、“男女之间会有纯友谊吗？” “有，越丑越纯。”5、每个食堂打菜的都有帕金森病，好好的一个荤菜抖啊抖抖啊抖尼玛变素菜了！！6、你手机屏幕那么大，一定很费流量吧？？？7、找女朋友一定要先看她的买家信用等级，一两颗红星的还好，要是上钻，可要三思而后行了8、今天看一学生妹子的签名：祖宗啊，我给你烧点作业本，多做做题，有不会的就把我们老师叫过去吧！9、看了马云的离职演说，感慨万千。从商14年，48岁功成名就，退居幕后享受生活。。。
我决定从此刻起，努力拼搏，我想只要我坚持，16年后，我也一定像马云那样----变成48岁。
---------自嘲、讽刺风味的俏皮囧语
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