1、衣带渐宽终不悔，一百块钱都不给。旧时王谢堂前燕，什么仇啊什么怨。日出江花红胜火，有本事就打死我。四海皆传古镜歌，我的项链两千多。 2、《如梦令・宵夜》：吃着干锅牛蛙，眼盯葱爆腰花。抽两口中华，干掉啤酒两扎。老板，老板，再拍一盘黄瓜。 3、现代诗三首：《成功》：这辈子/干得最成功/的事情/就是/承认自己很失败
《凉嗖嗖》：冬天/坐在马桶上/拉屎/讨厌凉嗖嗖的感觉/所以/不妨憋到夏天再拉
《伯乐》：嗯/这马/真是牛 4、冬日饭，稀饭一碗肉一碗，再拜陈三愿，一愿郎君酷帅，二愿妾身美丽，三愿卡里钱如同泉上涌，天天涨不断。 5、《天净沙・饿了》：剁椒鱼头烤鸭，糖醋排骨对虾，水煮肉片凤爪，肉串鸡架，溜肥肠炒豆芽。 6、女：“竹外桃花三两枝，宵夜整点什么吃？” 男：“书到用时方恨少，不如咱去吃烧烤。” 女：“少年不知愁滋味，烧烤价位有点贵。” 男：“长江后浪推前浪，要不改成麻辣烫？” 女：“在天愿作比翼鸟，干脆来家吃水饺。” 男：“明月几时有，饺子配小酒？” 女：“寒香解夜醉，喝完陪你睡。” 男：“OK。” 7、欲乘风归去，又恐体重不许。少小就胖老大肥，体重无减鬓毛衰。肥肉其减远兮，吾将上下而求瘦。安能摧眉折腰事肥肉，使我不得开心颜。上联：若有伴侣比我瘦，休怪枕下藏匕首。下联：若有闺密比我瘦，友谊大概已尽头。横批：瘦之吾幸，胖之吾命。妙改诗词、名句,灰常搞笑
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