诗性大发,大家鉴赏一下

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1、衣带渐宽终不悔,一百块钱都不给。旧时王谢堂前燕,什么仇啊什么怨。日出江花红胜火,有本事就打死我。四海皆传古镜歌,我的项链两千多。 2、《如梦令・宵夜》:吃着干锅牛蛙,眼盯葱爆腰花。抽两口中华,干掉啤酒两扎。老板,老板,再拍一盘黄瓜。 3、现代诗三首:《成功》:这辈子/干得最成功/的事情/就是/承认自己很失败
《凉嗖嗖》:冬天/坐在马桶上/拉屎/讨厌凉嗖嗖的感觉/所以/不妨憋到夏天再拉
《伯乐》:嗯/这马/真是牛 4、冬日饭,稀饭一碗肉一碗,再拜陈三愿,一愿郎君酷帅,二愿妾身美丽,三愿卡里钱如同泉上涌,天天涨不断。 5、《天净沙・饿了》:剁椒鱼头烤鸭,糖醋排骨对虾,水煮肉片凤爪,肉串鸡架,溜肥肠炒豆芽。 6、女:“竹外桃花三两枝,宵夜整点什么吃?” 男:“书到用时方恨少,不如咱去吃烧烤。” 女:“少年不知愁滋味,烧烤价位有点贵。” 男:“长江后浪推前浪,要不改成麻辣烫?” 女:“在天愿作比翼鸟,干脆来家吃水饺。” 男:“明月几时有,饺子配小酒?” 女:“寒香解夜醉,喝完陪你睡。” 男:“OK。” 7、欲乘风归去,又恐体重不许。少小就胖老大肥,体重无减鬓毛衰。肥肉其减远兮,吾将上下而求瘦。安能摧眉折腰事肥肉,使我不得开心颜。上联:若有伴侣比我瘦,休怪枕下藏匕首。下联:若有闺密比我瘦,友谊大概已尽头。横批:瘦之吾幸,胖之吾命。妙改诗词、名句,灰常搞笑
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