1、食人族酋长出国旅游，一不小心撞到了关羽。酋长大喊，“服务员，我说了不加蕃茄酱的……”2、阿富汗恐怖训练营的教官，对新入训练营的小伙子说道：“各位，注意一下，这玩意我只演示一次！”3、公司有个员工的离职原因是：肠胃不好，消化不了老板画的饼。4、紫薇屡屡呕吐，去医院看。医生说：“你被福射了。”5、一直在减肥，都说睡前五个小时不可以吃东西，我努力坚持。于是有一天，我坚持到凌晨三点才睡觉。6、北京苍蝇甲：过来，我给你说个事。咱们以后上厕所得排队啦！
北京苍蝇乙：啊，真的么？为啥呀？
北京苍蝇甲：最新的《公厕管理标准》规定啦，苍蝇不得超过两只，超了有性命之虞啊7、人们说，牛奶令人强壮。但是，你喝完5杯牛奶去推墙：墙纹丝不动。
你若是喝下5杯二锅头呢？不等你推，墙自己会走！
---------冷笑话靠的是混搭和想象力
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