幽默妙侃,实话也逗人
1、烘焙基本就是用鸡蛋把植物碎片粘到一起。2、以前我从家里偷溜出去参加聚会,现在我在聚会时偷溜出来回家。3、缘分这个东西其实也挺势利的,好看的人就能不费力地拿到更多。4、不要期望别人为自己雪中送炭,没有人在你脸上抹炭就该感恩了。5、当代青年男女的困境:刚起床就困了,刚吃完就饿了,刚出门手机就没电了,刚月初就没钱了。。。6、人生的高度是你获得的东西,人生的宽度是你错过的东西,人生是立体的,还有一个厚度,是你吃过的东西。7、现代诗《熬夜》:日渐脱发的我,坚持熬夜,窗外的万家灯火逐渐熄灭,仿佛全世界,都是,灭我灯的女嘉宾。8、我们发明合同来防止对方对自己撒谎,然后我们又发明了附属细则以便自己撒谎。9、学渣的写作业历程:小学:写完咱俩对一下!初中:写完给我抄一下!高中:我靠这么多你怎么写完的?!大学:有作业?啥课的啊?必须写?不写没事吧?10、有网友说人类用植物的生殖器来表达爱意很蠢。其实人类已经做了更多蠢事,比如在树木干燥后的尸浆上写字,用恐龙的尸油开车,吃荔枝的婴儿、橘子的子宫内膜、吃鸡的未受精卵子,还吃各种动物尸体,拿火山的排泄物求婚。。。人类真是太可怕了。。。
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